Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
