it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
