Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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