I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
