So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
