I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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