shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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