idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
