Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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