so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
