And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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