Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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