you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
