Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize