The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
