Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
