took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
