I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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