apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
