Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
