Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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