So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
