would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
