So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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