There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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