I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I did not marry a roomba.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
