I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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