Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
false alarm, still single
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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