If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize