Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
