Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm too high and old for this...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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