Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
