Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
