Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
