At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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