Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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