I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize