i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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