I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
what day is it and did you see me today?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
