you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
