fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
