i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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