I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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