It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
