she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
