i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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