You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
