summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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