I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
