im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
