She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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