You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize