We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I forget how to act sober
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
