No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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