i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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