Dual....:-)
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
