I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
