you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
