He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
