Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i've created a new STD.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
