I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
