Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
