Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
