If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Green mimosas i think yes
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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