You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
