I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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