..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
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