remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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