we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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