am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize