I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
