i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
