I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
