But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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