I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
