oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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